batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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