just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
