then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
