Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
