Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
