Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
What a dumb baby whore.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
