she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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