I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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