so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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