You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize