I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
