I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Enjoy the penises
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize