I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
