One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
