Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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