this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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