and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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