if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
