its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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