I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I've blown a few things in my day
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
