that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
