I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
