I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
