Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
