it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
