Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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