there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
