The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
