I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
3 2 1 whiskey
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
