I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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