That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize