On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
