i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
