2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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