dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
