Midget sex pt 2 tonight
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
