You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
