i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
