Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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