I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
