don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
