I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
