that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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