so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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