I want to make a zoo with you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
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