i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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