that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
