I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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