My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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