Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
