if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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