pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
