Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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