First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
