I need help removing her.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
