He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
