That's when you crack a 10am beer
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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