I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
