Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
birth control should be required to get into college
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize