and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize