i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
