shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
