Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
