Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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